everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
organizing the empties. That sober.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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