The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
