how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
