He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
