His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
