I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
