Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
