Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
