She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
