You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The adults are the big ones right?
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
