Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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