I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
