I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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