I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
