Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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