Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
