Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you had me at cake vodka
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
