The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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