Christians are straight up FREAKS
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
