have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Randomize
