I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
