What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
