I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You can't special order awesome
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
A bitchslap is in order.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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