I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize