I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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