I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize