Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
