Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
