he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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