She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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