we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
