So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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