I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
