you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Randomize
