I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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