he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
