your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
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