Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
