wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
