He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Randomize
