It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you inspire me to be a worse person
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
