You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
