I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
