god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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