Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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