What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
