I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize
