I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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