Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He passed out mid-signature
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Randomize
