Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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