the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
