i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
