So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she peed on how many people?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
