So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
