I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
