Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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