my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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