No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
