Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
