Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
