I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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