I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
